I colored my goal, and now it sits on the dresser in front of my mirror- a reminder of the woman I’m not, the one I long to become. This Proverbs 31 woman (or VW, as we Mennonite girls lovingly call the Virtuous Woman) is clothed with strength and dignity. I am clothed as a Mennonite girl, and I have sometimes not worn my garb with dignity, but grudgingly. I have rarely worn it with strength, but generally skulked in the sidelines with a weak and quiet spirit. Sometimes it’s easier to be weak and quiet than to be meek and quiet, I have found, and often it can pass as the same thing. It’s hard to live life with strength, to laugh without fear. How can I learn to laugh with none of those grim thoughts that make it hard to concentrate on the joys at hand? How would it be to smile into your coffee in the morning as you look at the day ahead, knowing that you are strong, that you can face whatever comes with dignity, that you are not afraid…

I have spent too much time in fear. It takes a strong woman to live her life unashamed and unafraid about what others may think. It takes a woman who knows in her own heart, absolutely, that no matter what others think of her, she knows who she is and that will not change. It takes knowing your worth as a redeemed child of God to give you dignity as a garment. And only in trusting that the future and the well-being of yourself and those you love and those you care for are in the gentle hands of a loving Creator God can you thank Him with joy for the blessings of today and laugh uninhibited, without fear of what tomorrow may bring.

Maybe one day I will be combing my hair and fastening my Mennonite covering over my head, and I will suddenly glance at my goal. Maybe I will laugh as I realize that I have outgrown that goal, that I am strong and unafraid of what others might think or what might happen to me or my family, that I wear dignity every day without effort. Maybe I will trash my art work because I will no longer need the reminder. Maybe, but I doubt it… I see ahead a lifetime of growing stronger and more dignified, a lifetime of choosing to laugh without fear. And maybe some morning I will smile into my coffee as I look at the day ahead, and realize that I have a little strength, that I can face whatever comes with dignity, that I am not afraid…