I have often idealized the perfect “quiet” time, the trendy devotions you see pictures of online sometimes–a porch or a bay window, a beautiful view, a quiet sunrising, a beautiful Bible and the perfect highlighters, and always, always the coffee… You could possibly have your quiet time without a Bible, but certainly not without coffee. You can sense the peace in those carefully curated pictures. Certainly, God should be able to speak into scenes like this, right?
But ever since I’ve been a mom, something about that scene seems wrong. There are few to no quiet sun-risings in my life–most of the time I am instead dragged out of bed by the voice of a youngster wailing from their room, long before I wanted to wake up. Other times, I gratefully sleep through the sunrise with a baby tucked into bed beside me, because they decided they could sleep in mom’s bed if not in their own. My husband often makes my coffee after we are all awake, and I sip it blearily while I make breakfast and dress babies and try to get my wits together. The perfect quiet time does not happen then.
In fact, perfect and quiet haven’t really fit into my life at all since I have been a mom. There are really no moments of my day where my children can’t invade. About the time you sigh with relief because the house is finally quiet, a small wail will certainly rise from the bedroom…
And so I have pondered while my hands are busy changing diapers and frying eggs and picking up toys… I have thought of times when I guiltily read my Bible and fell asleep over it, because I needed to “have my devotions” before I went to bed to feel that I was at peace with God. I remember how sometimes even those rare quiet moments felt flat and empty, when I finally sat down with my coffee–how can thoughts in the quiet and the peace of that moment relate to the hectic and hair-raising moments of motherhood? Why do I feel like “having devotions” is what makes God happy with me, when in reality, He does not need me, I need Him, and I need Him desperately, through every single moment of my worst, most chaotic days?
As I have pondered these things, I came to a realization–my soul needs to want God, and want to hear His voice, and want His presence with me, the way that my body craves food and water. I shower every night, even when it is late, because I like taking warm showers, I like to be clean, and, if I’m too tired and miss a night, I can’t wait for a chance to shower the next day… And that is how I need to want God. So much so that I can’t wait for any spare opportunity to dive into His Word or sing songs of worship to Him.
Guiltily reading my Bible and checking off boxes won’t get me any gold stars with God–He wants me to desire Him and embrace whatever minutes or moments that He hands me to read His Word and lift my heart in prayer to Him.
He wants me, in the times when I am stretched and stressed by the needs around me, to bring those needs to Him and allow Him to lift them for me and comfort me. He wants me to reach out to Him: when all the babies are screaming, when my hands are busy scrubbing dishes, when He provides a few unexpected moments of quiet–He wants my soul to turn to Him–hungrily, eagerly, lifting my cup for Him to fill.
Curating the perfect quiet time for Instagram pictures, and then patting myself on the back for completing my quiet time for the day before I go on to the other important things of my day can never fulfill the longings of my heart.
God, we want Your Spirit to dwell with us during each mundane minute of our day, so that every moment is holy, true devotion flows from our hearts, and the quiet love of Jesus overflows our cups, and we can face even the biggest toddler meltdowns and earliest mornings with peace. Amen.
Laura
26 Jul 2024Well written, thank you
Lily
27 Jul 2024This. This is so good.
All mama’s can relate to this!
Alison
27 Jul 2024❤️
Lynette Otto
27 Jul 2024So well written and spot-on for this mamal!! God bless you for writing inspirational words that encourage and draw others to a closer walk with God.
Anonymous
27 Jul 2024So very well said, Alison!!
Dad
Betty Ann Landsi
27 Jul 2024Now that my house is quiet and there is much time alone, it is easy to remember the days you describe in another portion of life. But there is still a need to be quiet before Him and not be distracted by the many things that grab for my attention. I want to keep my eyes open for His presence all through the day. I want to be directed by His Spirit and not by my own impulses. There are so many choices in this portion of life.
Alison
27 Jul 2024You are right, I am sure the struggle to quiet our heart before Him is not specific to any one stage of life–thank you for bringing that out.
Rachel
4 Aug 2024What a great God we serve! I don’t have to try to check all the boxes but rather need to “be still and know God”. What a freeing reality for me!
Alison
4 Aug 2024❤️