I’m not sure what to do with this stage of life.

For the first time in two years, our room is cleaned up and the bed made nearly every morning. There are no pack-n-plays, dirty baby bottles, or anti-nausea medications cluttering the floor. I enjoy relaxing there and reading before I go to sleep at night.

My laundry finds its way from laundry basket to washer to folded and put away in drawers in a timely fashion. I sometimes iron dresses and shirts the same day they are washed! I usually can get dressed in the morning without running to the basement for clean clothes.

And while we’re mentioning getting dressed–I am often dressed and have my hair combed before 8 a.m. these days–before we even eat breakfast. The twins sit on my bed and look at books and play with my stuffed elephant that sits on my nightstand while I prepare for the day.

There was a time that I couldn’t remember what it was like to sleep six hours a night, or to sleep for more than a 2-3 hour stretch at a time. And while we still rarely go through a night uninterrupted, I find that I am no longer exhausted and sleep-deprived all the time, and I take several consecutive hours of sleep for granted.

I put a coffee pot in my room, and I sometimes have enough energy to set the time-brew to 5:30 and beat the twins awake and have some quiet time reading my Bible in the morning. (Yes, you can read the Bible without coffee, but I have a hard time waking up at 5:30 a.m. without it! 😊)

I am not sure what to do with this stage of life. The first year we were married, I was still trying to find a place in this community and in my jobs as a housekeeper and a labor and delivery nurse. When I was suddenly plunged into mind-numbing pregnancy sickness and foster motherhood simultaneously, our home was turned upside-down and everything happened topsy-turvy, with great effort, or not at all. While my energy and will-power came back almost immediately after giving birth to the twins, I was stretched to the max just doing the basics of seeing that everyone was fed and clothed.

I forgot what margin is like.

I’m still trying to decide if I like it.

But do you know what I do like? Relaxing in bed with a book in a cozy, cleaned up bedroom before going to sleep at night. Having the dishes loaded in the dishwasher, the food put away, and the counters wiped down before we go through the twins’ bedtime routine. A closet that is organized and filled with clean and wrinkle-free clothes. Food prepped in the freezer for emergencies.

I am glad that life ebbs and flows a bit, that sometimes God pushes us unwilling into storms, and sometimes he pulls us aside and orders us to rest, regain strength, and breathe for a while.

If you are in the storm, hang in there. Your margin will come.

And if God suddenly dropped you in a quieter, sunny valley, I think it’s okay to enjoy it for a while.

And he said unto them, “Come ye yourselves apart… and rest for a while…”

P.S. To be honest, some days I feel like I need all the physical and emotional margin I have just to stick in there though all the toddler battles and antics! 😊

A Few Coping Strategies from Our Days of Little Margin

1. Be willing to take short-cuts. (This is what my husband said when I asked him for suggestions!)
2. Make time for a few little things that bring you joy and help you breathe–making yourself a yummy drink, listening to a podcast while folding laundry, or trying out a new recipe even though it might take slightly longer.
3. The Apostle Paul said that if we have food and clothing we have all we need to be content. I have often thought of that on the days when I feel like I just don’t reach around. I make sure my family is fed, and I make sure we all have clean clothes–it doesn’t need to be Pinterest-perfect meals, and the laundry might still be unfolded in baskets, but we still have everything we need–even if the basement should have been cleaned a year ago.
4. Chip away at the important tasks a little at a time. For months I ran a load of laundry most days and folded and put away the load from the day before. I simply couldn’t handle one or two bigger laundry days a week–none of my days had that much extra time.
5. Make friends with your crockpot and the easiest recipes you can find. Plan and prep supper whenever you have a minute throughout your day so you don’t find yourself with a hungry husband and no idea what to make.
6. Ask your husband what the important things are to him: Ben probably wouldn’t notice if I didn’t wash the kitchen floor or scrub the toilet for two months, but most times he would rather go hungry than go to the fridge and figure out what to eat. A different person might have no problem frying an egg or fixing a sandwich, but would hate living in a house that was not thoroughly cleaned regularly.
7. Accept the kindness and support of those in your community, even when you would rather be able to do things for yourself. Sometimes God uses these times to teach us brokenness and humility.