Sunday night must take the cake as the most collectively miserable night our family has ever endured.
Somewhere around eleven at night–give or take an hour–I was lying on our bed trying not to throw up yet again, when Ben called out from the nursery, “Alison, I need help!”
I lay there a second. No. I can’t get up. Please tell me Ellie isn’t throwing up. I did. She was.
Between us, Ben and I stripped Ellie to a onesie and washed her up in the bathroom, while she quivered and cried. I murmured soothingly around my own nausea, “It’s okay, Ellie. It’s okay, girl.”
Ellie and I sat huddled on the bathroom floor together while Ben (who doesn’t throw up) stripped her bed, and Teddy roared in the background…Suddenly I shoved Ellie out of the bathroom to Ben and closed the door so I could throw up again. As soon as I was done, Teddy tottered into the bathroom, tears streaming down his face, and settled into my lap. I just sat there and held him and tried to pray…
Some time later, after more throwing up, Ellie and I drifted into a soothing sleep. A thud from the bathroom startled me awake. I hopped up and charged over, still sleep muddled.
There, curled up on the floor, lay my husband. After twenty years of never once vomiting, he had passed out from the trauma of puking. While I helped him up and placed a cold washcloth on his neck, I heard Ellie wailing and retching in the nursery…
One way or another, we made it through that night. God heard my prayers and about the time Ben and Ellie started throwing up, I stopped, although I still felt far from well.
It took most of the week for everyone to recover. But as we started feeling better, Ben and I had moments of reminiscing, surprising each other with what stood out in retrospect. I said, “Ben, I love that when everything falls apart, we just stick in there together and work like a team.”
And he said, “I can’t describe how good it felt waking up and having you there with me and helping me and giving me a cold wash after I passed out. It was awful, but that sensation was really good.”
It reminds me of a time some years ago, when we were still boyfriend and girlfriend. I remember sitting on the front porch of our farmhouse, on that gentle night in August, and feeling so glad to finally be home. Ben sat on the floor at my feet looking chagrined but relieved while I laughed and laughed. “I’m glad you can laugh about it,” he said.
It had been one of those Ben and Alison days, where disaster followed disaster… I had attended his friend’s wedding with him. We met in Harrisburg because he still needed to pick up the right kind of pants to be in the bridal party that afternoon. As Ben hopped out of his car to come join me, I leaned down to take a drink from my water bottle and the metal straw gouged a hole in the top of my mouth.
Ben sat thoughtful beside me as I soaked tissue after tissue in an attempt to staunch the flow of blood. Ever the concerned boyfriend, he ran into a farmer’s market and begged enough ice to cool a small watermelon. I sucked on pieces of it, hoping to constrict the injured blood vessels.
Eventually the bleeding slowed down, and we bought the appropriate pants at Macy’s (with no time to iron them) and changed into our wedding clothes in public restrooms. When we met at the car, Ben had a strange look on his face.
“I don’t have dress shoes; I only have sneakers.”
We were already running late for bridal party pictures.
Must I go into the details of the rest of that day? Mercifully, they have blurred with time. But I still remember how embarrassing it was when the whole bridal party was waiting on us to get into the reception center to eat lunch and finish setting up–while we were out shopping for shoes with (unknown to me) the reception center key hidden in Ben’s pocket…
We have learned over time that those days, even more than the sane and scripted ones, are what bring us together and bond us like glue. When we need each other, we lean into each other instead of away, and we realize that we are meant to be together, even when everything else is falling apart.
We have had many times to practice redemptive laughter and reminiscing after bad days since. I am glad that Sunday night is now behind us and a part of the growing collection.
Judith
7 Dec 2024Whatever violent bug hit you also lives in Ohio… My dear sister (and her family), who are in the middle of packing up to move to Africa, spent the day lying in bed yesterday while angels (aka ladies from church) took over the packing still waiting to be done in the kitchen. I hate that people have to get sick, but I could not help but marvel at the beauty of a church family lifting up the weak….
Alison
7 Dec 2024Oh no! Your poor sister and family! But I’m thankful they had people to step in and help!
Dale Stoltzfus
7 Dec 2024I love your comment, “When we need each other, we lean into each other instead of away, and we realize that we are meant to be together, even when everything else is falling apart.” If only we would all do that all the time-lean first of all to into Jesus and then into each other.
Alison
7 Dec 2024Yes!
Betty Joy
7 Dec 2024Newly dating couples who think that they are in love can’t imagine the depth of love that can come from working as a team as spouses and parents through the difficult experiences that life throws at you.
Beverly
7 Dec 2024That bug made memories for me too when we had 2 little boys and just barely over morning sickness of the third pregnancy .
Alison
7 Dec 2024Oh no! And being pregnant made it even worse, I’m sure!