Recently, I have been wrestling with what feels to me like a conundrum–motherhood and discipleship, giving freely when your responsibility is to guard and provide, being anxious for nothing while still keeping the home…
In a recent sermon our pastor challenged us to give our best to God. What is my best? I wondered. I am not producing much of anything–almost no income, and little of anything else that God wants, it would seem. My garden bounty is minimal… my cooking skills? Very small… I am not artistic.
My nursing skills lie side-lined, before they were fully developed. I am not a dedicated writer, pumping out regular pages of convicting and God-honoring truths. And when I think of delving into any of these talents more, or pushing my husband to move us to the mission field, or throwing myself into some other work of ministry… I feel a sense of caution. I know, deep in my heart, (even when I dislike it) that my first calling right now is to love my husband and my children and to keep home.
But how does one follow Christ in that? He never kept home and children. He commanded us to leave our families to follow him. And my children and marriage–they are the best things I have been given. But I cannot just sacrifice them on the altar of service to Jesus–in some strange way, they must be my service to Jesus. And yet do not even the publicans take care of their own children? How is that discipleship?
How do I let tomorrow take thought for its own things when I am responsible to make sure the laundry is done, and the groceries are bought so my children and husband have clothes to wear and food to eat? How do I crucify my flesh when I need to rest, and eat regularly, and take my pills so I can have a healthy pregnancy and be well enough to care for my family? How do I go out and make disciples of all nations when most of the time I stay with my children within the boundaries of our home, and some days never even see anyone besides them and my husband?
I lose my way in these thoughts some days–perhaps like many other moms. My mind spins, and I think I am stuck–unable to offer anything to Jesus, because it’s all been taken by my family. I focus on production instead of crucifixion; I think in terms of results instead of realizing that death produces life and that only through God.
And so, as a mother, I give my talents and my dreams to Jesus–some of the best years I have to offer. I give them to him and tell him I will serve my Him through serving my family, instead of building a career and a name. I give him my body and let Him change me through sleepless nights and months of sickness–because He can use even that cross to bring a resurrection if I let Him. I tell Him about the laundry and the groceries, and tell Him that I know He can provide for us in the times when I feel I am failing and not reaching around. I serve the small ones and make them my disciples, and hope that one day they become His. I teach, and I pray.
I reach beyond this humdrum and this routine–the dishes and the meltdowns… and I ask Him to fill me with His Spirit right here, to show Him what else I can give Him, to work through me even in the boundaries of my small world. I read His Word and ask Him to show me more and more what it means to follow Him in every aspect of life–
Out there on the mission field… or right here, as a stay-at-home mom.
I thought I would share this for Mother’s Day, but Mother’s Day is past and gone. But we moms are still here being moms… Experienced moms, please share in the comments! How does a young mom follow Christ whole-heartedly on the days when she feels her desire to follow Christ is buried in motherhood?
Meg
16 May 2025Love this. It’s so relatable to me right now, in this place❤️ It feels good to know I’m not alone.
Alison
17 May 2025❤️
Emily Miller
16 May 2025This post resonates with me through and through. Sometimes I think I have conquered these feelings, but then they return to haunt me. You caught me on a haunted day.
Alison
17 May 2025❤️
Anonymous
17 May 2025Following Jesus in the home is not the lesser calling- it is the supreme. Moms on the mission field spend a lot of time caring for their husbands and families too- only with increased cultural concerns and situations. You have the opportunity to follow Jesus by showing your Wilkes-Barre neighbors what a Christian home is like- in this language and culture. You may have spilled Cheerios, piles of laundry and dishes, but striving for peace and order in the home is godliness. It may be chaotic at times, but your attitude in those times is a way to follow Him too. You won’t do it perfectly, like He did. But the key word is ‘striving.” This stage of life is only for a time. Then your ‘little arrows’ will go beyond you someday to spread the Good News.
This stage will pass. This morning I heard the song “God is there in the silence”. That was what i needed to hear- with planting done and the realities of an empty house again were pressing in on my mind, it was what I needed to hear.
God bless you in the highs and lows of mothering.
Grandma
Alison
17 May 2025Following Him in the chaos with an attitude of peace… I like that thought.
Linda
17 May 2025I wonder why the young moms of today feel such pressure to do something “more”? Where does it come from?
The Bible says, “Urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”
Isn’t that pressure enough? 😊
The difference between you and the “publicans” is in the attitude in your heart, which definitely comes out in little actions that really count in a big way.
Of course, if you’ve got that down, go ahead and look for more challenges!
I love you!
Mom
Alison
17 May 2025Hmm I guess that is a pretty big order for anyone, especially me. 😉 I don’t know why we feel that pressure… Maybe social media has something to do with it?
Betty Joy
17 May 2025It’s too bad that the rewards for parenting don’t come instantaneously. Now I have grown children who give accolades, but I often wished for that along the way when I was in the thick of parenting. Even on the mission field, the father is often the one doing outreach while the mom stays home to care for the children, with her sacrifice being that she doesn’t have the support of extended family nearby to help her. Those who spend a lot of time outside the home during their children’s growing up years, don’t seem to have the heart connection of a close relationship, and the ability to pass on their values to them. Even “small things” like your Bible study with neighbor ladies are important in God’s eyes. Just be available and do what you can in this stage, but don’t expect that it will be the same as what a single girl or empty-nester mom can do. God sees your heart and knows your desires to serve him. The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. Bloom where you are planted! your 2nd mom
Alison
17 May 2025Thanks for those thoughts. It is good to remember not to compare myself to people in different seasons of life.
Edith Burkholder
17 May 2025I remember one Easter thinking how beautiful self denial was. It was ethereal and abstract in my mind. Then I realized I was learning it through taking care of my young children and husband. It gave it all more purpose and worth.
Alison
17 May 2025True, sometimes it is hard to recognize the beauty of self-denial in real life! Thanks for sharing that.
Rosalie
17 May 2025While our purpose can become blurred and forgotten in the daily grind and grub of being a momma, to cheerfully and lovingly fulfill the commands to be “keepers at home”, to “love our husbands”, and to “love our children”, we are bringing God more glory than to push those aside in pursuit of something more “noteworthy” or “”prestigious”. Blessings as you live faithfully by God’s grace and strength amidst the spilled Cheerios, dirty dishes, nausea, exhaustion, etc
Alison
17 May 2025You are right! Thank you!
Nola Martin
22 May 2025Think of these years as a season of intense training for both you as a child of God, and for your children as young moldable souls. I might have a few more years of refining behind me, but I keenly feel what you are saying. We learn so much about ourselves, God, and life during these years of mothering. The lessons are hard, but there will be a glorious harvest. I think of you often and hope that you are not feeling sick anymore, but it sounds like that is the case.
I well know that when you are feeling so awful and just trying to survive that everything is harder!!! Try to be patient with yourself and maybe save these big questions for later.
I will be praying for you. Nola
Nola Martin
22 May 2025I meant to say in regard to you feeling well, ” “sounds like that is NOT the case.” I’m really sorry you have to endure sickness the whole way through this pregnancy journey. It is very trying! Nola
Anonymous
23 May 2025Thanks for your prayers, I appreciate them! I also am grateful to be feeling MUCH better, I am sorry if my blog post made it sound like I am not. 🙂 I still have to take my medication and take it easy, but I am grateful to be feeling as well as I am. Also, how interesting to think of young motherhood as “intense training” instead of as years with little tangible yield.