Old Woman, Old Woman, who lived in the shoe,
I have so many children! (If not as many as you.)
And sometimes, Old Woman, I don’t know what to do!
Gentle parenting techniques don’t always work too well for me,
And, after all, how can you do that when you have three under three?
(More recently, they’re under four, which means the riot has grown more!)
Your methods may be all out-dated, but old-fashioned is brand new,
And if gluten makes them crazy, well, what really can you do?
You give them their bone broth without any bread.
(Organic, Non-GMO, Antibiotic free, and grass-fed…)
They earned their group consequence squarely I said!
So I gave them all time-out before I put them to bed.
But Old Woman, Old Woman, I don’t know what to do!
They need sleep for regulation, sleep is what they need you said–
But from the nursery I hear sounds of toddlers jumping on their beds!
Caution: Please understand this as satire. As moms, there are many voices we could listen to. Before asking Google or the Old Woman in the shoe for suggestions, let’s consult the Word of God, the Holy Spirit, and the older moms within our church.
Linda
26 Jul 2026As they say, “Some days are like that, even in Australia.”
-the Old Woman, aka Mom 🤗
Alison
27 Jul 2026😄
Nola Martin
27 Jul 2026🤭 Thanks for sharing! It takes me right back. Those days are unlike any other!
Ironically, I’ve been trying to sort through my thoughts by writing about my oldest three being teenagers and all having jobs. I don’t know if I’ll ever get my thoughts organized enough to post something. Each stage has a way of stretching a mom’s knowledge, endurance, and heart.💖
Alison
27 Jul 2026And I cannot yet imagine having children responsible enough to have jobs! I will watch to see if your post comes, to see what next stages of motherhood hold!
Anonymous
28 Jul 2026I always enjoy reading comments about my grandchildren, satirical or not. Very creative!
Keep writing! Plan book or elsewhere.
Dad
Mary Landis
31 Jul 2026That’s really good, Alison! I read this aloud to the children on family Sunday! 😍